But was it worth it?

College has been a whirlwind. That’s an understatement for sure. I know I am likely preaching to the choir here, but balancing school, work, a social life, and basic needs is no easy feat. For the last four years, I have willingly forgone dentist appointments (don’t judge…), regular medical checkups, regular haircuts, and a full eight hours of sleep every night, all for the sake of my education.

Why would one continue to subject herself to such a stressful and neglectful situation, you ask. Because they promised me it would be worth it.

I didn’t know how important my education was to me until I decided to pursue it. I grew up in a very traditionally small town where nothing ever changed (putting it nicely). My peers were comfortable with inheriting the simple life style passed down from generation to generation (putting it nicely). And that was okay. For everyone else.

School was never a priority for me as a younger person. The community didn’t have a large focus on academics in my hometown and this attitude trickled down into my generation. I took a few years off after barely graduating high school. I had a series of odd jobs. Mostly slinging Blizzards at DQ and answering phones at an insurance office.

Somewhere during my two to three year sabbatical, I realized, life is really hard. I moved out of my parents’ home at the ripe ole’ age of 19. My first roommate was a prematurely balding, and prematurely grouchy, guy named Chad. Chad liked to hunt. And fish. And display his latest conquests on the living room wall. Or hang them in the garage.

I was commuting forty five minutes every morning and night to an unfulfilling job where I was over worked and unappreciated. My boyfriend was far from Prince Charming, and my roommate was even farther.

Enter college.

I think in the beginning I thought of college only as my ticket out of Shelton. Short term. I couldn’t afford to get my own apartment and I had tired of jobs with “customer service representative” in the title. Most of my friends had already started their families or were heading down paths with no return.

College seemed like the logical choice. I was only half certain about my choice to leave everyone and everything I had ever known. So I only applied to one school, Central Washington University, mostly to see what would happen. Much to my surprise, and terror, I got in.

Another Rachel Barry gif, because she always knows what to say.

When I opened and read the acceptance letter, I felt a wave of emotions hit me like a wall. A confused and vibrating wall. I was excited, relieved, anxious, and terrified all at once. I ran through the house waving that letter over my head like a crazy person. I bee lined to my parents’ room where my mom was sitting on the bed. She already knew, I’m sure she could hear me from across the house. We were both excited to say the least.

The next four years would be filled with uncertainty, excitement, doubt, one failed engagement, many failed friendships, a stint in the BioChem major, one lost puppy, and lots and lots of personal growth. Regretfully, it took me the first three years to find my place in it all. But I found it. And I found myself.

I have realized how important of an experience college is. Yes, it got me out of Shelton. But more long term than I ever could have anticipated. I am educated, I am cultured, I have experienced things I never would have sitting at a dead-end job wishing for more. I have made countless friends, I have cried countless tears, and laughed countless times.

I now have a thirst for knowledge, information, and communication that I am certain cannot be quenched. The satisfaction and growth that results from being educated is indescribable. I didn’t realize how immature, uncultured, uneducated, and angry a person I was until reflecting over how much I have changed during the last four years.

Once deathly afraid of change and uncertainty, I embrace it. I now know that the fear, uncertainty, and doubt that go along with change are part of the personal growth process. Change is what you make it. I made the most influential change for myself that I possibly could have by coming to college. I now know that I want more. And I can have it.

And yes, they were right. It was worth it.

Gifs found at www.giphy.com and deathbyunicorn.tripod.com

#college #education #personalgrowth #change