My Mother, My Hero

Mothers are special people. They defy all physical odds by growing tiny humans inside of their bodies and literally pushing them into the world. The good moms spend the rest of their lives continuing to push their children toward something. Thankfully my mom is one of the pushers. I owe everything to my mother; literally my life.

My mother has defied all stereotypes. She grew up in a small, poor, logging town with little opportunity for personal or professional growth. It’s unfortunate, but not many Sheltonians achieve much nor do they aspire to do so. There is an obvious trend toward comfort with less than mediocrity throughout the town. No one aspires to be anything greater than the generation before them. There is a “that’s the way life is” attitude in the community that I have never understood. Nothing ever changes and no one ever aspires to change that.

It is common in Shelton, and most other small towns in the U.S. I think, for young women to become pregnant in high school. My mother was one of these women. She pushed me into the world in June of her senior year. She made the choice to have me. Even though I am certain she knew that decision would anchor her in Shelton indefinitely. Ruining the dreams I’m sure she had of getting out of there.

You might be asking yourself, how is this significant? How is this special? Why are you giving us this personal information we didn’t ask for and probably don’t really care about? After all, teen pregnancy is nothing new.

Well, here’s the point. Here is the difference between my mother and most of her peers that had children that eventually became my peers. She is a better mother than them. Plain and simple. The proof is in the pudding people. And the pudding is me.

I can hear you thinking, “Conceited much?” Whoa there, let me explain.

Growing up in that same tragic little town, I had the pleasure of growing up with the offspring of many other teen moms from Shelton. Don’t get me wrong, not everyone from Shelton is bad. There are some wonderful, smart, and successful people that have come from that town. Many of whom I am friends with to this day. They are not included in my gross, blatant generalization.

I digress, many of my peers, who am I kidding, most of my peers were very different than I was. I did not fit in and there were not many I could call my friends. I didn’t know it at the time, but there was a very good reason for that. They were headed for very different futures than I was. I tried to make friends. I tried really, really hard. It was pathetic and heartbreaking really.

Throughout my adolescent quest for friendship, I stayed many a night at my “friends’” houses. Many uncomfortable, eye-opening nights. A lot of my peers thought they had cool moms. Moms that didn’t give curfews or discriminate against potential friends. Moms that let boyfriends stay over and didn’t require the bedroom door to stay open. Moms that bought their kids booze and let them have a few friends over. Moms that smoked pot with their kids and kept the truancy officer at bay. But not my mom. My mom “ruined” my life and never let me do anything.

Though I was rarely present for the shenanigans sponsored by the “cool” moms, if you asked them I was the bad influence. I was at fault for the teenage drinking, sex, and law breaking. Even though I never seemed to be there when it went down…I was an easy scapegoat for my so-called friends that couldn’t take the blame and the moms that couldn’t take responsibility.

Back to the pudding. I know you’re wondering about the pudding. These kids didn’t turn out as well as I did (here I go again being full of myself.) They didn’t have mothers like mine to push them in the right direction. They didn’t have mothers that aspired to break the cycle and be something greater. Or mothers that had the same aspirations for their children. While their moms were busy being “cool”, my mom was busy being a damn mom. Now that’s cool.

My mom thinks I’m special. I have to admit, I think I’m pretty special too. Why else would she put me and my brother before anything and everything in life? She gave me every opportunity to be the person I want to be. She has always believed in me, even when I did not. She knows me better than I know myself. She is my best friend, my mentor, my hero. She is everything I aspire to be.

My mother is beautiful, brilliant, hard working, and determined. She is my mother and I cannot express how eternally grateful I am for that.